Shattered Silver Splinters

There is a different kind of sound that we can here when trust shatters.. the sound of nothingness. The sudden burst of silence. Its like reaching a dead end on the road which you couldn't even see till the time you almost collided head on into it.At times,the world stops. At other times,the world spins. But what remains constant is the silence.

Trust is talkative. It talks(A LOT!), communicates, promises and builds itself up on all of these things it does between two people. It has a tendency to crop up where you'd least expect it and most of the times build up silently without letting you know that it is building itself up. And BOOM! There it is one day.Staring at you with the cute-big-eyes and batting eyelids and a puppy face..the next thing you know is you've surrendered to it! And you start batting your eyelids and you start being puppy faced in life with all the trust that sits pretty in your big big heart.

Trust also doesn't recognize lines.It breaks them.Especially,if you've drawn huge clear cut bold defined lines.Its frikkin slimy,it slips and takes the shape of the space its in.Trust once settled in your big cute heart,makes it all gooey and fudge-y and chocolate-y and melts those huge clear cut bold defined lines and reduces them to fuzzy non defined molten blobs of nothing. It lets people and things and everything in.Its soo accomodating that it entertains everything and everyone.

Did i also mention that its blind-folded and stupid usually? Oh yeah! Blindfolded. A 101% blindfolded. Its blindfolded and a lil stupid considering it doesn't see which two people its creeping in between!It just gushes in between ..makes itself comfortable in the big cute heart..bats eyelids and all that..and takes everyone in.

This process it quite similar to the formation of a fragile bubble.. Trust is a bubble. And when it bursts.It takes only a fraction of a nanosecond to end itself.It breaks at the drop of the hat, at times its broken intentionally, at other times by mistake, sometimes by carelessness, some other times unknowingly and most of the times.. it succumbs to everything on its own and kills itself. The burst is so sudden that it doesn't have time to ask questions,it doesn't wait for answers,it doesn't see through its blindfolds and it doesn't understand anything.At the first chance it gets..with ease with which its built,with the same effortlessness it breaks.

And whats left is a huge not so cute empty heart,the big-teary-eyes and a sulky clueless face..In complete and utter silence.Probably the noise inside is soo shrill that it deafens the insides to the extent that all you can hear is silence.

Unbearable.
Insurmountably.
Unbreakable.

Silence.

As i see it, the most untrustworthy of all unfair human emotions,that build and un-build themselves inside a living being -- would be trust.Nothing weakens you more than trusting someone completely,bringing someone into those huge bubble like walls of your cute happy heart,being blindfolded and believing everything from the talk to the promises.
When the lights go off on the inside and its pin drop silence in pitch darkness.All you can do is wait for the light to find its way back to that deep darkness.To show you that the damage is not that great and most importantly that its not your doing.So the punishment that you give to yourself,sitting in that pitch darkness,surrounded by shambles,reveling in that all deafening silence and going over and over again as to what went wrong where..is the biggest mistake of it all.
May be trust wouldn't be so untrustworthy if we lay it in the right hands.May be we're not using the tool right.May be before laying trust in someone else,we gotta lay it in our own self.
Trust our gut.
Trust the instinct and trust what you tell your self when no one is around.The things you confess to yourself when nobody other than you knows it.Thats when you should stop lying to yourself and pushing things under the rug,thats when you should start listening and start trusting.When everything is between you and you.. thats when you should believe what that big cute heart says.Instead of letting someone else live in there,may be we should let ourselves in and stay there before anyone else enters our world.The conscience which is clear has nothing to fear about.The heart that has no dark deep secrets that it keeps from itself is the lightest heart in the world.And its also the most dangerous tool that kills you every single moment,bit by bit,from within reminding you that you wronged someone,no matter how rosy the picture might look from the outside.

The biggest of all faiths,after the one you have in yourself,is the one you have in someone way beyond us.. Who watches out for everyone from up there..who calls the shots down here..who keeps that record book of karma for each one of us and pays us back before we take off forever.Who ensures heaven and hell right here.In some form or the other,all we can do in the end,is trust ourselves to keep our karma right.To not shatter any heart that lets us in.To be the one we want the others to be with us.To not let our karma strike back and bite us where it hurts the most.Thats the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves,when we know in our hearts of hearts that we have a clean slate,that we did no wrong knowingly or unknowingly and most importantly we never broke the heart that let us in...laying all its trust in us.
Just remind yourself at every step in life,that when you think no one is watching and you can slip without guilt.. trust that,thats exactly when someone is watching,someone within you..And you'll be sorted,because that's the only person who is going to cross the ultimate finish line with you.Don't let your own conscience kill you before someone else does.

~The Silver Star Gaze~

When i was lil, i was taught to follow my star gaze.. my dreams and that they could be lived in reality.When i was not so lil, i was made to understand that everything that i dreamed off or was dreaming off was not always possible and that i should follow them as much as i could.When i was not lil at all, i was told that everything i dreamt off when i was growing up was the stuff that only dreams were made off and that reality was a whole different ball game.When i stepped into this godforsaken crazy land of adulthood,i had been taught,untaught,told,untold so many times that,i didnt even realise when my star gaze turned into a far fetched dream itself.
When did this happen?When did we become so big? When did our dreams.. start ceasing to be reality and start getting replaced by priorities,responsibilities,commitments,duties et al.? 
Those dreams.. which are so close when you shut your eyes that you can almost touch them,almost smell them,almost feel them..almost have them. Those dreams that you've seen so many times that in your parallel candy-flossed dream universe they almost become a reality.Those dreams that you build your life on and those that keep adding themselves to base your life on.. any and all sorts of dreams are the things that you can almost get a taste off... but probably they're fated OR ill fated to be an "almost" of life..
But what would life be if there were no almosts in life ?

Almost ~ That thin fragile line which demarcates a dream life which would have been from the life that it is.
Life,as i see now,has been like this for almost all of us, full of almosts..
Mark Twain once said-" The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter–’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” 
What he means according to me is that, when one's supposed to take a decision, either that decision can be a 10/10 bang-on hitting-the-bull's eye sort of decision (as bright as a bolt of lightning!) or that decision can be a 9.99/10,a slight miss, a tiny deviation or an almost..(not a bright flash of light but a tiny dot of light..still its a flicker of light nonetheless)
Almost >>  is the gap between the dream life you beautifully carve out of nothing in your head and the reality that you live in.Its the first position in any competition and any other a position below it,when you almost finish off first.Its the hollow between the spotlight and the pitch darkness around it,when you're almost in the spotlight and still out of it.It is the vaccum you hear when you dial someone's phone number and hang up just before it starts ringing,when you almost get connected. It is the fraction of a second underwater just before you come up,when you almost drown. It is that one fourth grace mark which takes you to the other side,when you almost failed.It is that one rupee while bidding which makes you lose,when you could've almost won.It is that one run that makes 99 a 100 ,when you almost make a century.


Almost is the place where ..Life happens..
When you're busy star gazing and fate's busy planning your future..
When you wake up from your sleep and cant make out whether what you just saw was a dream or it was for real..
When dreams try to meet the reality and they miss by an iota of an inch!

But does that mean that we should stop our star gazing? Does that mean the end of hope? Does that mean that we should never try to reach for the stars? Does that mean that its the end of it all?
NO. AND A BIG FAT NOOO AT THAT!
Oprah,the woman of all seasons,once said that the biggest adventure you can take it to love the life of your dreams.And rightly so,all dreams come true if we have the courage,the perseverance,the guts,the balls,the grit to pursue them..Whoever said dreams cannot be lived has clearly not chased them enough! The only reason anyone's life gets messy.. anyone's dream gets shattered is because they didn't have it in them to hold it for long enough,to compel it to come to them! Almost,my dearie,is the place which is proof that you went for it,that you took the plunge,that you followed your dream and that no matter what the outcome was.. you at least looked up in the sky,took the leap of faith and reached for your star. That's where the real adventure of life lies.Simply,because you cannot always wait for the perfect time, sometimes you must dare to jump.And midst of the confusion of telling,untelling,learning,unlearning the procedure of how to live your dream-life and how not to do it.. from when you were lil to when you became an adult,you realise that,that's when you've truly lived.. 


Life's not measured in pounds and nickels. Life's not even measured in hits and misses. And not even in winning and losing. Its measured by the simple fact that when you're ready to meet your creator,when you're bidding your final goodbyes,when you're into that tunnel of warm welcoming flash of white light..and your entire life flashes in front of your eyes.. you should not have a tiny grain of regret inside of you. When you look back and read your own biography,you should not be regretting the way the show ran and the way your life's curtain fell. You should be nodding and saying ..This is it. This is how i chose to live my dreams.

May be once a while, you should gather your guts and stretch that almost and make it a reality. May be once a while,you should know better and leave it at that. Both ways, you should know in the deepest corner of your heart that whatever you do .. you should never regret that you never tried.Because as you grow older the only things you'll regret are the things that you didn't do.. the girl/guy you almost married,the guy you almost saved,the job you almost left,the trip you almost took....the dream you almost lived. 


And i see many people regret their almosts in life.So why leave a chance to be in that place where all you have is regret in life?Sometimes you gotta stop and remember that you're not gonna live forever.Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one and nothing waits forever.Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past - stop planning the future - stop figuring out precisely how we feel - stop deciding with our mind exactly what we want our heart to feel - sometimes we just have to accept things for what they are and be happy with that almost which becomes a living reality and not an almost anymore,sometimes you just have to go with the flow, dream big and live to the fullest !


Because in the end baby,it's all worth it !!!!! :)


Much love,
xoxo
Sea

Hopeless Cuteness ~ Unwavering Courage

19 Blog posts till now and not ONE exclusively dedicated to my hopeless romantique self ?
I can't believe myself ! What use were all those Mills & Boons and all the utterly outrageously and crazily romantic movies that I've bred on all my freaking life!!

So, I'm totally of the camp which believes in Prince Charming ..The knight in shining armor riding the glistening white horse in the starry night on a full moon day,who will come and sweep his Princess off her feet in one swift movement and take her away with him forever and ever.(ALL Fairytale stuff!) Or the hero who swooshes the heroin when he offers her his hand when she's running to catch the moving train..(DDLJ!)*sigh*
YA. Downright romantic. Downright make belief and unrealistic and immature and fictional and blah blah and BLAH.
But, whats a life without a lil dash of beautiful imagination in it? And when that beautiful imagination turns into even more beautiful reality .. That's the kind of stuff, real love is made of. And that's the kind,we heart ;)  Where imagination meets the reality and when beautiful meets even more beautiful.<3

Having said that, its no big surprise that i love that hopeless cuteness that comes with all this imaginary paraphernalia and also that,once you do find the one for you..the prince charming/princess of YOUR life..there attaches to the pair of you.. this adorable "hopeless cuteness".Phases when you cant stop thinking about each other,when you knowingly let go and overlook every flaw of the other person that stares you in your face,when you cant stay away from each other,when you just cant let the other person be,when all you want is them,when all you can feel are the butterflies in your stomach and the blush on your cheeks! :)
One look at the person and you melt like a load of wax on fire.. the gamut of emotions come to life and all that one can see,feel and look is.. HOPELESSLY CUTE ! :)
And as that hopeless cuteness builds,along with it grow a lot more things, which are stronger and more solid than just this adorable phase.. The things that somehow turn this hopeless cuteness into unwavering courage.

Unwavering courage to decide to be together.To stand against all odds.To be there through thick and thin.To stand shoulder to shoulder,hand in hand..fair and square. Through and through.As i see it,that's one thing people fear if they're in 'love'(supposedly).And that's the thing about courage,no one can ever tell or ever predict who will show what level of courage or guts or valor and when.The most non courageous people will stand up for what they believe in,if and only if,the thing that you're standing up for is standing with you. Up.Front.And Center. Being the pillar of strength to stand against every eventuality that may come between you.

I'm all for Happy Endings as i am for undying love that gives rise to that passionate courage.So darling,if you feel hopelessly smitten by someone and get the same hopeless smitten-ness back,then don't be afraid to really fall into 'love' and commit and go all out and draw courage from your love and be together against all odds.
And then watch that puppy-like hopeless cuteness become a tigress-like unwavering courage.

The thing is, if its real love my friend, you don't have to worry about trying to find the guts to stand up for it,convince your families etc.,worry about anything else on the earth, because all that real love does is,bring out the things in you,that you probably didn't even know existed. You'll be amazed to know that..THAT courage..is just the tip of that iceberg!!

THAT my  love , is what they call a happy ending to a happy beginning :)

Free Fallin ;)

 Hello beautiful people :)

Been too long eh? Too too long this time.Both,for the lack of new things happening and for not being able to put whatever did happen,down in writing.
SO.nothing extraordinary happened.Everyday normal things.The good,the bad,the ugh ! BUT  nothing that jumps out of the LifeBox and surprises me :S Wonder why though? Because,according to the rule of life,the last time i checked..it worked like a cycle right? ..After night comes day..after every dark cloudy night comes the bright sunny day..after pain comes joy..after sadness comes happiness..and after the monotony of nothingness..(following the above protocol!) comes the freshness of surprises life pops up with!! Is it still the way the world is functioning? Or has some rule been amended or scrapped off  Up There?

Ever felt that you are so stable that you might lose your balance and fall off ? Ever wanted to just fall off the cliff while being strapped safely at you feet..like in bungee? That crazy rush! which makes your insides turn out only for a few minutes and breaks the monotony of normal breathing!?  I feel like that about life.. THANK GOD! for alllllll the monotony but what about that crazy minutes of adventure and surprises..while you're still safely strapped on to your stability in life?

Too many questions.Too many wants and wishes.Too many practicalities.Too many and too much of everything! I don't know what makes sense and what doesn't but STILL i would like to look ahead and wait for my turn to bungee jump in life,because .. if there's a time for something to pop up from that LifeBox..I'd like to believe that MY turn is just round the corner :o)

BLEED BLUE!!

In the spirit of the World Cup 2011 and in the ecstatic state after an amazing India - Pakistan Semi Final .. i'm painting everything in sight with the tri colours!!!!=)
Its been a passion since i was a baby and for us Indians (and Pakistanis too,i'm sure!) no tournament is complete until we play against each other.
Another beautiful match done..with the two Prime Ministers and all the whos who gathered at Mohali to multiply the pressure infinitely on the two countries..the innings were exactly what they should've been like!! And what more could we have asked for..Our prayers were answered and INDIA WON!!! =)
I loved every bit of it.Stayed glued to my seat till the end and sat with my overenthusiastic cricket maniacal family for the match throughout!!(Also,we ordered food in(obviously!) and i majorly overate!!)

BUT ALLL WORTH IT!

All you cricket lovers out there.. share the ecstacy!! How did you BLEED BLUE today?? =)

Footprints in the Sand..

This is the first time in my entire life that i'm writing about that one thing which i have never written about outside my zone(which includes my head and the random writings i do whenever wherever exclusively for myself!).This is also ironically,the same thing,that i have written or thought about the most.And i still do and will continue to do.All the bottom lines for everything else in the world for me boil down to this one thing.

God and my faith in Him/Her or the abstract-unknown-super power or whoever or whatever you believe in and turn to for the inexplicable in your life.

I consider myself extremely fortunate for having been able to see one of the rarest of plays on the Biography of Goswami Tulsidas as narrated by himself.Executed flawlessly to perfection and performed as a mono act with complete and utmost Bhakti.Having grown up listening to the stories as narrated by my grandma..It was truly an experience that not only touched me but penetrated through my very core and I know would,stay there forever.The play ended but the feeling didn't.The feeling of being a tad bit closer to The Power.Even closer to feeling my Grandma through the Power.

Its not dependent upon age.Its dependent upon your faith..This feeling of being completely engulfed in God's love.To realize that there actually exist an envelope like this,one doesn't need to have number of years in age by one's side.All one needs is ..Faith. My Granny used to say..If you have complete unquestioning faith in God..you'll know sooner than later that you're wrapped in love forever.And that there is nothing known to man that can harm you.. until you let it yourself.

Its always said that you'll be stunned by the ways in which you'd see God's glimpses.They're most unexpected and always excruciatingly simple.And today was one such glimpse for me.The play shook me to the core and just like that..i felt God through it.Inside and on the outside.Mind body and soul.Even closer than before if it was possible and left me speechless. Mesmerized.Completely awestruck.

I feel like, for this moment at least, I've found my Center.My balance.My Anchor..for life.

25 Random Questions Tag

25 Random Questions Tag

1.Where were you 3 hours ago? In the market,buying silver jewelry :) 

2.Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes.My precious pink mug with green tea in it!

3.What are you wearing right now? Tee and shorts

4.What are the colours of your bedroom walls?  Pearl white towards off white.

5.Who is the last person you sent a message or comment /BBM? Ginni :)

6.What does your last text message say? "Ok sweetie..we're ready and waiting for you" (Thats because i had to pick them up to go shopping together and was running a lil late.)

7.Can You Taste The Difference Between Pepsi And Coke? Yes. And i like Thumbs up..
its less sweet and more strong than these two! (i used to call it my hard drink!!)

8.Is your hair curly or straight? straight

Read more..this tag continues....

9.Which is the hardest thing you ever had to do? Lose loved ones.And come to terms with it.. i'm still struggling.

10.Favorite 2 color combination? Ahh too too many! Fuchsia and Orange.Turquoise and Beige.Dark Green and Blood Red.Onion Pink and grey.Or any combination with gold/silver/bronze. Almost all permutations of off-whites, charcoals, beiges, navy and mediterranean blues, fawns. Told you , dont ask!! Lol

11.What is your favorite accessory? I love accessorising, but i obsess over rings and ear rings in particular.   

12.Which current celebrity(-ies)'s style do you admire most? From India, Sonam Kapoor, Deepika Padrone  Frieda Pinto and Sushmita Sen can carry pretty much everything off.. Internationally, Blake Lively, Victoria Beckham, Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Aniston look effortlessly savvy.

13.What is your favorite fashion store/shop? Affordable fashion : In India, Forever 21,Vero Moda, Promod and Zara. UCB is a perpetual fav. one stop shop for regular wear.

14.When was the last time you drove out of town? We drove to Ahmedabad last week. 

15.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? A new channel on TV.

16.What was the last thing you bought? A gorgeous silver and garnet ring!! (its special because ginni , mithoo and i bought the same ring together.. !)

17.What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? What should I eat for breakfast today!?

18.Favorite Food? Indian, Mexican, Italian and Mediterranean. 

19.Biggest turn offs? Over bearing, lying, hypocritical, conniving, shallow and pompous people!

20.What do you always have on you/wear? Earrings,Rings and my kada.

21.What does your screen name mean/ how did you come up with it? I did not think about the name because when i started blogging.. i stuck to the same account i had which i made to follow one of my friend's account. Though the origin of Silver Potpourri and Elle Woods is explained in my first blog..in case someone's bizarrely interested. :)

22.Favorite style of top/blouse? I love clean cuts. Tapering with good neck lines.

23.Favourite tv show currently Gossip Girl , Modern Family, Sex and the City, Castle, White Collar , Prison Break ... and almost all chat, travel and cookery shows.

24.What is a favorite TV show from your childhood? Small Wonder, Different Strokes, Bewitched,Duck tales,I dream off Gennie,Aladdin, Jungle Book.. All of Disney shows !

25.What does your dream bedroom look like? Wooden flooring for sure. Minimalistic. Furniture in wood, with subtle beige and gold accents. Large bay windows , thin guazy printed curtains that fly with the wind. One piece of art work, a wall full of personal pictures ...with a nice big balcony and a white wrought iron table/ whole wood table on which the morning breakfast is kept. One big funky colored comfy couch or chair AND a hell lot of plants everywhere (I love interiors...one of my dream professions(although I sort of already am on the path of becoming something else) is to be an interior decorator.)

I got tagged by "peachesandblush" to do this tag!!! 

Consider yourself tagged if you comment below and if you want to do this tag .. =)

Smile and the World Smiles with You =)

                                                       Boug's Maggie Chipkoos!

So,this is one of my life's most amusing,incorrigible and most adorable memory !! Of my youngest and the naughtiest kid brother,who we fondly call Bougie.This is when our lil gansta was barely a year and a half or something and the four of these brats were left at home under Yours truly's supervision while everyone went off to run errands or do stuff in which kids weren't needed.And that day on popular demand,of course,i made Maggie for them.Those days,something called a "chipkoo" used to be the most popular free gift for kids.And God knows,we had about a million of them!A chipkoo was a slimy ball which was jelly like and would stick itself wherever if thrown hard.So there we were dodging most of the time,in a house full of chipkoos and 4 crazy boys throwing them everywhere possible!Mister Bougs here,being the youngest couldn't really differentiate between maggie 's consistency and chipkoo's..so this is what he did before anyone could see him..made maggie balls and threw it all over the room making his own favorite chipkoos!!The innocence and sheer glee on the baby's face was just too much to scold him or anything..And just like that,we all had our first maggie bath.. days after that..we kept discovering maggie strands in places we didn't even know existed in the room!
Now whenever we make Maggie and Boug's is around.. we cant stop cracking up at that whole episode. =)
Since all we should concentrate on,is remember the good times and roll with them..i have decided to make "Smile and the World smiles with you" an ongoing segment of the most most,fun and happy memories of my life--of the top of my head! This was the first random thing that hit me when i decided to write about things that make me smile when i look back at them..

Watch this space for more happy memories..as and when they pop up. Meanwhile,do yourself a favor and try to gather only your happy thoughts and pull them as close to yourself as you can,just like i did!
Write them anywhere you want and when you're down in the dumps..you'll know exactly what to turn to.
'Till we meet again.. Spread some Smiles!!!! * =) ting =) *

1.1.11

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.” -T.S. Eliot 

Appyy Nuuu Eeerrrr everyone :)



Welcome Twenty Eleven!!

Hope this year brings with it all that you ever wanted,deserved and much much more..Lets count our blessings today and be thankful for all that we have!!:)

To all the good times to come,peace,new year resolutions and happiness always..Cheers! Its going to legen-wait for it-dary!! LEGENDARY! ;D

Keep a big bright smile on..throughout MMXI and forever!!:)

God Bless!!!!!:)